I have never met a truly honest person, a person who never, ever lies.
But then my definition of honesty is quite hard to attain.
I think it's important in life not only to refrain from lies told to other people, but also to refrain from lies told to yourself, or self deception.
Most people lie to themselves. They lie to themselves to make themselves feel better, to justify an action, to keep themselves from thinking something unpleasant, etc... and it's not always easy to tell if one is lying to oneself. It's fairly easy to know when you lie to another human. Occasionally a lie will just slip out of my mouth without my prior knowledge or consent and puzzle me greatly. Why did I tell that lie? What am I avoiding? Why can't I face the truth?
In the background of every lie there is cowardice and shame. If you are a truly brave person then the truth should not bother you, and therefore lies are never told. Lies are a cover up for some other problem in your life that you can't stand to face. The first step towards an honest life is to avoid telling lies to other people.
However, this goes hand in hand with desiring honesty within as well as without, and it's much harder to avoid lying to yourself then it is to avoid lying to another person! I don't believe that humans are fully conscious beings. We are conscious of some things, yes, but there are many, many things that remain locked in our unconscious state, that we are neither aware of nor able to control. Self deception is, for the most part, beyond our awareness, but it doesn't need to be. Some people speak and ask themselves, "is what I'm speaking true?" but few people think and ask themselves, "is what I'm thinking true?"
Most people take for granted the truthfulness of their thoughts, and yet humanity is full of rationalizations that are built as a mere convenience to the person, not based on truth at all but on desire. When we question the motives of our beliefs, it is called existentialism. I wish everyone would have an existential crisis, really look over everything they believe and ask themselves "why do I believe this? do i believe this merely to reassure myself? am i just taking the easy road in accepting this as true?" Many people's minds are due for a major housecleaning. This doesn't just apply to major beliefs but to minor ones as well. When your husband/wife/parents/children/friends ask you "why didn't you take care of this problem?" be honest with yourself and with them. Admit your difficulties, so that they can get resolved.
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Honesty? "I've always loved dancing and wanted to be a dancer but I lost balance and gained weight when I gained hormones about the moment I hit puberty and I've always been afraid that it is too late, so I tell myself to give up the dream even though every day that passes I kick myself for not jumping in again. I regret not living every moment training for the day I will stand in the lights and bathe in them, a part of a group- a part of a living breathing creature whose soul is pure feeling and whose heartbeat is rhythm that compels us to move. I lack the courage and strength to pick myself up off the floor and I don't know how (or if it is even possible) to do it anymore. That is my desire- that is my regret- that is my honesty."
ReplyDeleteyou don't have to have a perfect body to be a dancer. if you love it, then do it, even if it's just a hobby. and dance like ballet is more in the "air" element... it requires much more athletic ability than i possess... it requires you to be "light." but not all dance styles are like that. hip hop is very "earthy" and grounded so you don't need to be on your toes all the time, (and a big booty is almost required) and i could totally see you getting into cultural dances. cultural dances aren't about showing off your body or your athleticism, they're about celebrating a culture, which is right up your alley. you're also good at social dancing and i could totally see you doing that too.
ReplyDeleteYeah... you're right we are not completely conscious beings, despite our own ego. Hmm.. how troublesome. That's it! we're still troublesome beings. :S
ReplyDeleteGood post, I really liked it. (: